Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Reclaiming Rebecca

342 days ago I went from dreaming of being a mother to holding my beautiful little girl in my arms. I was a mother the moment she was conceived but reality doesn't hit until you are sitting there staring down in to the face and eyes of a being that loves you and needs you for their very survival.

After Eliana was born, she was rushed to the NICU so my birthing experience wasn't what I had always hoped and planned for it to be. I quickly learned that is how motherhood rolls!

The last 342 days have been exhausting, educational, disgusting (no showers for days, vomit everywhere), overwhelming, and absolutely fantastic. I wouldn't change them for the world. I have loved almost every moment of motherhood and I have learned to laugh at the parts that you can't enjoy. I never saw myself being a stay at home mother and now I would not have it any other way. I enjoy spending every day with my child. I love the smiles when I pick her up in the morning, the snuggles I get when she is sick or tired, the giggles...I even love the poopy diapers and the teething because that just means she is real and she is MINE!

Never in my life have I had something in my life that holds as much value in my life as my beautiful little girl. Motherhood has changed me, and I embrace that. She has opened my eyes to so many things that I would have never thought to notice in the past, she has made me a better person.

The only drawback is that I became so consumed in my child's well being that I often times forgot about my own. For the year 2014, I want to reclaim that. To be the best parent I can be for my child, I need to be the best me I can be. This means allowing myself to sleep more, allowing myself to establish and nurture adult relationships, allowing myself to become self confident again and allowing myself to work towards being healthier physically, emotionally and spiritually.

The first step in that plan for me is reconnecting with the written word and having a place to express my emotions. I look forward to this 365 day journey and the moments that I will discover alone, the ones I will uncover with my loving husband, and all the adventures I will fall in to with Eliana.

Welcome 2014....I look forward to taking this journey.

No comments: