Hat fresh from Alaska

Perfect timing for this warm hat to arrive with the temps dropping to 20 degrees or less this week. I love how this hat fits, there is no artificial smell to it at all and there is a super soft fleece liner inside to go around your ears. Not to mention, purchasing from Cache Alaska is supporting a small family owned business in Alaska! #winwin #Beanie#cachealaska

Did you know it's made of a PREMIUM FIBER BLEND? 50%Wool 50% Acrylic keeps it breathable, yet warm. Cotton Kills when it's Alaska Cold!  

We seem to always be losing hats in our house so I will gladly stock up on them. I don't intend to lose this one as it not only fits nicely on my head and doesn't slip up but it looks stylish too. (Why are hats always doing that? They pop up and you spend all your time outside fumbling around trying to grab it with big bulky gloves to pull it back over your ears) 

https://www.amazon.com/Beanie-Hand-Women-Desi…/…/ref=sr_1_4…

Disclaimer: I did receive this hat at a discount or free. All opinions expressed are my own and given by my own free will.

Emilia's First Halloween

Back when I only had one child I was super excited to put together adorable outfits for her every day. I had special Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentines Day (you name the holiday, I had it) clothes for her. She could wear a different Christmas outfit every day in December. It was just my "thing". Now that I am on baby #4 it gets trickier coordinating holiday outfits as well as knowing where they are and if they are clean in our limited space.

However, I just could NOT pass up a cute little outfit I found on Amazon for Miss Emilia this year.

This outfit works perfectly for Miss Emilia as she is known to loudly "blast" her poops anytime she is excited or someone scares her. Not only was the onesie super soft but it fit exactly as they stated. I purchased a 3-6 month set so that she could wear it longer than just in October. I LOVE that it came with not only a headband but also a little hat so it is the perfect gender neutral outfit. It has been washed multiple times and looks the same as the day we got it. I would definitely recommend this outfit. While I did receive this at a discount, all thoughts and opinions are strictly my own. I would easily pay full price for this if I needed to get another one next year. Want your own? Look for it here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07FY3F6Y1

September Wins

Sunday September 2

Kindle book
Hockey Hat

Monday September 3

Kindle Book Win: Unforgettable Trouble - Passion and Thrills (The Unforgettables Book 7) (Kindle Edition)

Welcome 2017

17 has always been my favorite number, I was even married on March 17! I am going to take that as a sign that this will be my best year yet. ;)

I need to take back myself a little bit, being a mom to three kids is absolutely amazing and they each bring something beautiful to my life but I don't want to forget that I have a purpose besides being their mommy. What that is? I'm not quite sure.


Writing Prompt #1: Happy New Year! Take a look at your annual goals for this year and decide what you can accomplish this month. Write your goals for the month, and think about how you will accomplish them.

My annual goals...hmm...Step 1, figure out my purpose.

Step 2: Reconnect with my husband as just that, my husband.

Step 3: Clean up our credit scores and try to move beyond living paycheck to paycheck.

Step 4: Try to win at least one IWG or sweepstakes a month as it is a hobby I enjoy.

Step 5: Give back in some way at least once a week!

This list is clearly a work in progress and it will continue to evolve as the year progresses.

2-IN-1 THERMOS CAN and FOOD JAR 12 oz - Review

I am always looking for a new cup or water bottle to drink out of to keep me drinking more fluids and to help me stay hydrated. I loved that this one seemed different than the norm and looked like an actual soda can with a straw. Upon receiving it my husband decided that he too liked the design and style. The black part almost feels like a can coozy and protects your hand from either the heat or the cold (depending on what liquid you are putting inside the cup itself)

I was a bit unhappy as it stated that you should NOT use carbonated beverages. My sister also purchased this product and did put a soda in it and it seemed to hold up fine so I'm not sure why it states it is not for that purpose. It'd be great for a mixed drink container in the summer.

I ended up passing it off to my 16 month old son who uses it as a sippy cup as it is spill proof (for now) and easy to wash. I did receive this product at a discount in exchange for my honest and unbiased review.

Purchase it here: http://www.amazon.com/THERMOS-CAN-FOOD-JAR-Insulation/dp/B014REMA2A?ie=UTF8&redirect=true&ref_=cm_cr_ryp_prd_ttl_sol_0

Lice Comb Review

Luckily I have not had to use this nit removal system to remove lice from my childrens scalp, but I have used it to remove fleas and flea eggs from my fur-baby. Unfortunately, due to his winter hunting of rabbits he developed a spring case of the fleas. I boiled some water with lemon and used that and Dawn dish soap in the tub. I combed him out section by section and watched as the fleas did stick to the comb (I quickly drowned them and rinsed out the comb) and continued on to the rest of his body. While it was time consuming as he is a large dog (75 lbs), it was effective and worked as we have not seen any more of the little buggers on his body since then. I am glad I had this handy comb when I needed it.

The lice comb was perfectly spaced out to not let anything fall through and had a nice handle for gripping. It did feel a bit sharp on the edges so you must use care not to push down to hard or you risk scratching or tearing open skin. I did receive this product at a discount in exchange for my honest and unbiased review.

Get it here: http://www.amazon.com/Lice-Comb-Kids-Nit-Removal-System/dp/B01DUHT7F8?ie=UTF8&redirect=true&ref_=cm_cr_ryp_prd_ttl_sol_0

Panda Pads Premium Changing Pads Review

I purchased this three pack of bamboo changing pad liners for my cousin for her baby shower. She likes clean and crisp colors so white was the perfect choice for her and her little guy. These changing pads are super soft and smell clean. They are easy to throw in the diaper bag or even in the glove box so that you have a sanitary place to lay baby down for a quick change no matter where you are.

They wash quickly and easily and stay true to size and softness even after being washed. I also like the fact that there are three so that you can easily have back up in case you need to use one and the others are in the wash. I received this product at a discount in exchange for my honest and unbiased review.

Purchase them here: http://www.amazon.com/REVERSIBLE-Absorbent-Waterproof-Antibacterial-Hypoallergenic/dp/B01ACR0PAK?ie=UTF8&redirect=true&ref_=cm_cr_ryp_prd_ttl_sol_0

Tartar Remover/Scraper & Toothbrush

My dog is a four year old lab/springer spaniel mix. Before I had children, I use to brush his teeth every day and was quite proud of how white and clean they looked as well as how his breath smelled fresh. Unfortunately, his oral hygiene has taken a hit since the birth of my two children. I was so glad to get a new toothbrush and a tartar scraper to try to restore some of his dental health. The tooth brush itself is made of flexible material and has a large end and a small end so that I can easily target his smaller front teeth and flip it around to get at the larger back teeth.

The scraper has two sides as well. I was easily able to scrap some plaque and tartar off of his front teeth. While it's not his favorite process, this set made it quite easy. I did receive this product at a discount in exchange for my honest and unbiased review.

Link to the product on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Tartar-Remover-Scraper-Double-End-Stainless/dp/B01CRK2IJG?ie=UTF8&psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o09_s00

What's in a Name?

Sometimes...I go off on a tangent and I don't make a lot of sense. Hence the name "Rebecca's Ridiculous Ramblings". I also like to try out all kinds of new products so I added in the review factor!

Today was a slow mail day in this household, I did get a check from Shopswell for $1.28 which is awesome since I haven't been active on there at all for a few weeks. I should really get back on there but I have so busy with the admin position I accepted for a review group and with the kids.

Eliana had her very first dentist appointment today and she did great! She has 20 teeth and they all like nice and healthy. Dr. Nick also saw Elias to double check on his frenulum. He stated that it is mild enough to leave for now, however it explains why neither of my children were ever able to latch correctly.

I work a full 8 hours tomorrow at the thrift store. I'm not sure if I'm up for the challenge. My heart just isn't in it since Kathy said she was closing the doors.

I worked on cleaning out the coat and boot closet today and I need to finish that before my husband gets home but there are just so many things to catch up with online as well! I can't wait until everything is back in place and the purge of 2016 is complete! Simplify!!!

Til next time ;)

I'm back! An Intro to Me

Hi! My name is Rebecca and I'm always more at ease when I'm able to express myself in written form. I have neglected taking care of myself for far too long and in a quest to gain back some of my true self and mental sanity I want to be able to blog more.


I am a 32 year old SAHM of two beautiful babies, my son Elias will be 1 in a few short days and I can't believe how fast this past year has flown by. My daughter Eliana will be 3 at the end of the month but acts more like she is 10 at times. I have a furbaby, Brewer, who is four and a husband who is battling his own demons.


I volunteer at a thrift store and enjoy meeting new people and of course watching the inventory change on a daily basis. It's a great outlet for me to not only find myself again socially but to be able to purge some of the hoard of kids items I have.


In my "free" time (haha, what mother has free time) I enjoy doing product reviews, reading, catching up on reality tv and a few other programs (I'm a Days of Our Lives Junkie!) and online shopping. I am always looking for ways to be able to provide for my children and husband while staying at home.


I may not have it all, but I have enough blessings in my life to be a very rich woman indeed.


I look forward to getting to know you all, as well as myself in the days, weeks and months to come.

Smiling Monkey Baby Mirror

I was lucky enough to receive a mirror for free to hang in my car from Giggling Monkey. I was interested in purchasing or trying out another car mirror after my son expressed interest in one I was given a few years ago when his sister was born. My son is 8 months old and he absolutely adores looking at himself so he can practice sticking his tongue out & make fart noises. (Typical boy already, right?) The mirror that we had used for my daughter was slightly scratched and small in size so I was absolutely deleted when our baby car mirror arrived. It was made of durable materials and shatterproof glass and was just the right size to fit nicely on our Envoy seats. I love the fact that I can glimpse in my rear view mirror while driving and catch my son smiling back at me. It gives me peace of mind that he is doing alright while also entertaining him by allowing him to see myself. As stated above, I did receive this product free of charge in exchange for my honest and unbiased review.

Cree and Scooter Giveaway! :)

Welcome to the Cree and Scooter $40 Amazon GC/Book Giveaway!

Sponsored by: Cree and Scooter

PLEASE PUT YOUR OWN WORDS HERE

Who is CREE AND SCOOTER?

• Aid in the development of global-minded kids, which will navigate their minds with Cree and Scooter through the crevices of each continent
• Expose kids to the things they wouldn’t normally get from standard schooling
• Stimulate kids worldly curiosity
• Take kids on global journey
• Enable kids to learn different languages, foods, cultures, history, landmarks and geography
• Promote excitement on the curious minds of kids
• Enable kids to travel the world without leaving their home, school, city, or country
• Educate without kids knowing they are learning
• Ignite a passion for kids to learn not only about their cultures but other cultures

WNBA (Women’s National Basketball Association) veteran and two-time All Star, Tammy Sutton-Brown was born in Ontario, Canada. Being a professional basketball player has opened Tammy’s world to experience a host of different countries and cultures. “When you read, your world opens up. I want to encourage early literacy for kids, ignite a love for travel and exploration and form an appreciation for the world we live in, its languages, cultures and history. It is my belief that global exposure will enhance the lives of others beginning with our kids. Our world has changed and is continuing to change with the people from all around the world playing and living together, as well as attending the same schools. Kids will be in good hands with Cree and Scooter.“ GIVEAWAY CODE: [promosimple id="41c6"] Cree and Scooter also has an Ambassador program where you share and earn gift cards: Join the PARENT AMBASSADOR . Like Cree and Scooter on FACEBOOK and Follow on TWITTER BUY E-BOOK For $6.99 through Amazon-Cree and Scooter Hit the Slopes in British Columbia Buy the HardBack Book: $16.00 HERE

“READ TODAY, LEAD TOMORROW” – Tammy Sutton-Brown

Giveaway ends April 20th at 11:59 PM EST. Open to Residents of the US/Canada only. Winner will be selected by Promosimple and be notified by email. Winner have 48 hours to respond before a new winner is selected. Please note that PLEASE PUT YOUR BLOG NAME HERE is not responsible for sponsors that do not fulfill their prizes. Cree and Scooter will ship their items to you directly.If there is an issue with a sponsor, please notify PinkMama’s Place you won a prize from within 30 days for assistance, after that we may be unable to assist you. The product offered for the giveaway is free of charge, no purchase necessary. My opinions are my own and were not influenced by any form of compensation. Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram and Google+ are in no way associated with this giveaway. We do not share or sell information and will use any information only for the purpose of contacting the winner. GIVEAWAY CODE: Or is the code:

Free chocolate...I'll take it!

I needed some inspiration for todays post because I couldn't think of what I really wanted to write about...I have some built up anger about a few issues but it's not something I think I should talk about publicly for now. Anywho...I googled, "365 Day Blog Challenge" and decided anytime I need a topic I will pull from that list.

Todays idea is: hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days with a picture of yourself.

So first...here I am:

As for hopes, dreams and plans for the next year...well, I hope that I can continue to watch my little girl grow in to the adorable, intelligent and loving toddler she is destined to be. I hope that I can become pregnant again (God willing!). I dream about being a mommy to two.

As for plans - I want to continue to grow in to a better person. I want to write everyday, laugh everyday, and make sure that the people in my life who are important know just how much I love them. I plan to continue to help our family get to our goal of being debt free. It might not happen this year, but IT WILL HAPPEN! I have faith - and perserverance.

In other news...it is terribly cold here in Wisconsin. I told Eric to not even worry about getting the mail but he did anyway. I am glad he did - I received a free sample from Crowdtap and Hersey's:

 

I can't wait to try it and let you know what I think! :)

Better Luck Next Year

Another late night/early morning blog...we really need to work on getting back on a normal schedule of sorts. My husband is normally a third shifter but he worked second shift this week so I have been staying up with him after he gets home. Going to bed at 2 or 3 am really isn't working out as the baby gets up around 7 am. (And that's if she sleeps through the night!)

We watched our beloved Green Bay Packers play today...and lose by a field goal. That was a tough one to swallow but I still love my Green and Gold!

We don't have much planned for tomorrow (umm...today) but Wisconsin is supposed to have record low temps. Almost all of the schools are already closed. I think it's going to be a couch and sweatpants kind of day :) I do have to run to a doctors appointment in the afternoon, I recently found a lump in the lymph node near my breast. I saw my OB for it and she referred me to a Vascular surgeon. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't just a little bit nervous.

Hubby is on the "I think you need to get a job again" kick. It really gets frustrating. Yes, we struggle. I won't deny that...but I also think we have so many things that we should be fortunate for. We aren't hungry, we have a roof over our heads (and heat!), and we have plenty of material goods. We also have each other...shouldn't that be enough? *sigh*

Simple Saturday

I'm sure I'm not the only stay at home mom who sometimes forgets what day it is (heck! I even forgot when I was working full time). I had to remind myself several times today that it was a Saturday.

Eliana and I took full advantage of the "warm" weather - 30 degrees felt simply spring like - and ran to the grocery store and then played outside in the snow for awhile. Afterwards she seemed to be sleepy so instead of allowing her to nap alone we curled up on the couch and watched a movie. Of course we both crashed out. I didn't even feel guilty when we woke up two hours later! :)

Besides hitting the grocery store and finding some good deals (Tombstone Garlic Bread pizza which I LOVE was on sale 4 for $10) Eliana and I didn't do much besides play around at home.

I did receive a "freebie" in the mail today from Home Depot, a Glad Force Flex Odor Shield garbage bag and some Clorox Bleach wipes, both of which I can use. I didn't spend a lot of time online so I didn't get a chance to request any other items or do many surveys but I'm okay with taking a day "off" from technology.

There was simply too much drama in our lives last night so I'm glad I got to spend the day with Eliana decompressing...there is always time tomorrow for social media, cleaning and stressing about finances. I'm looking forward to having Eric home tonite and for the next three days.

I'm choosing to be happy...it's as simple as that.

Better Late than Never?

Day 3's post turned into an early morning on Day 4 post...but the day somehow got away from me.

I watched our friends little girl, Marina, today. We are coming up on the one year anniversary of her mothers death (and her 1st birthday).

Even though it was almost a year ago (she passed away on January 11), I still can't get the incident out of my mind. It's not something I care to talk about often (if at all).

One year ago today - Vanessa and I were both very pregnant. She had plans to be induced on Monday the 7th (and head in on the night of the 6th). I was so very excited and nervous for her and anxious to hear how the delivery went as my own delivery was impending. I still have the text messages from Sunday evening (the 6th) on my old cell phone...her husband Justin and her had kept the babies name a secret and I was anxiously awaiting every detail. I remember her telling me that she was going to take some melatonin to help her sleep because she herself was very anxious. I can't remember exactly what time Marina Corrine was born, but I know it was before noon.

I was so very excited for my beautiful friends and their gorgeous little girl and I couldn't wait to meet her. With being pregnant myself and due in only a few short weeks, Eric and I were unable to make it up to the hospital to see baby Marina and Vanessa. We made plans to visit her that Friday morning. I had a doctors appointment that morning and I sent Vanessa a message to make sure it was ok for us to stop by. She wasn't feeling well and was heading in to see the doctor herself but said that it would be fine if Eric and I stopped by to see her and Justin and the baby.

I packed up a present and we headed to our doctors appointment to have my routine prenatal appointment. The doctors and nurses know us and they also knew that we were friends with Vanessa and Justin so they asked if we had seen the baby yet because she had been in right before us. After my doctors appointment we headed over to their house.

When we walked in Vanessa was asleep on the couch and Marina was in her bilirubin blanket. Justin handed me Marina and I couldn't believe that she was actually here...that this beautiful little miracle that had caused her momma so much grief while she carried her was finally here and bringing her mother and father so much joy.

Vanessa awoke for a short period of time and I was able to tell her that her little girl was beautiful and start to get the story of Marina's delivery. From what I was told, her delivery wasn't bad at all and I am so grateful for that. Vanessa seemed so happy to be a mother and even said she would go through all of the pains of pregnancy again. While discussing Marina's birth, we lost Vanessa. I don't wish to go in to details but I don't think I fully realized what was happening while it was happening. Even as the paramedics came and I was holding her baby girl in her kitchen, I couldn't get my head around it.

A part of me knew Vanessa was no longer with us when they took her in the ambulance....but most of me didn't want to believe it. How could that be possible? How was I left standing in her kitchen holding her BRAND NEW BABY and she wasn't here anymore? I told myself that they were going to fix her right up...and in a few days she'd be back to normal and we could laugh about another troublesome pregnancy (or post pregnancy) symptom.

A few hours later, while I sat in Vanessa's home holding Vanessa's baby, we received the phone call that she had passed away at the age of 27. I was overcome with grief. I didn't take the time to fully feel my emotions as I was 3 weeks away from delivering my own baby and a lot of my focus was on that as well. I felt like I had to be strong and pull it together for everyone, including my baby growing inside of me.

17 days after Marina was born, I brought my 6 lb 2 oz daughter, Eliana Beatrice in to this world. 13 days after we watched our friends life slip away we watched our lives begin with the breath of this little girl who is now my whole world.

Marina brought me comfort the day Vanessa passed...as she continues to do. But watching Marina also sometimes brings me great grief as well as guilt and feelings of inadequacy. Why do I get to be a mother to my daughter and she doesn't? Why do I get the hugs from her daughter that she so deserves? Am I teaching them the right things? I'm not as patient as a person as Vanessa was and sometimes I feel like she would be doing so much better at this than I am. I miss her. I miss what we could have had, raising our daughters together.

But...there are two little girls that need me. And with Gods patience, grace, and understanding I will continue to do everything I can to make sure that their lives are full of love, hope, joy and laughter. Marina got to know her mother for such a short period of time but I know that Vanessa lives on in Marina's quiet intelligence and her passion for books.

And sometimes when Marina snuggles in for a hug, I can feel Vanessa's hug from above too...I just hope she can feel that I'm hugging her right back.

Puppy Love

I have a two year old puppy named Brewer whom I love dearly. He is a large beast whose out of control tail often takes ornaments off trees, end tables down, and provides minutes of tears when he unexpectedly slaps your face.

My little girl has manged to successfully deflect Brewers tail by placing her hands above her head and yelling "Get!" It's both entertaining and adorable. Brewer takes it in stride and goes on to the next thing on his mind. I love that my little girl and her dog will grow up together.

However, Eliana seems to fear all other dogs. I'm not sure how to cure her of this and I'm also not sure if it should be of any concern at this point. She is young and it's obvious she loves animals, maybe the fear will subside as she ages?

My sister brought her 3 month old puppy Toby over today...and I was reminded of why I don't want another puppy anytime soon. Not only did he think Eliana was the perfect pint sized playmate to wrestle to the ground, he also found all of her toys to be widly entertaining. Everything goes in the mouth and not much comes out in tact. Ellie screamed and cried anytime Toby came near her. In part, I don't blame her, last time we were over at Abby's house Toby took her arm and chewed it like it was bone. Luckily, the only casualties of the day were a sippy cup nipple and a nuker. (and maybe temporarily my sanity).

I know the puppy stage goes fast (just as the baby stage goes fast for human babies) and in a matter of time he will be a well behaved dog...it just takes patience. I'm glad that it's my sisters patience this time around!

In other news, non dog related, I am so excited that I was picked to do a Pampers Sample and Share through Crowdtap! I can't wait to receive the coupons in the mail and share our experience. No freebies or samples came my way in todays mail, but tomorrow is another day, right? ;) I did receive some products that I had purchased on an online auction site called TopHatter - I had received a $10 credit by clicking though on an email I had received so I checked it out and ended up with a few small purchases.

Just waiting on the husband to come home, he is on second shift the next few days. Eliana is glued to the tv watching her absolute favorite tv show, Bubble Guppies. Maybe I can sneak in a few minutes of reading? We will see!

Til tomorrow,

Rebecca

No one tells you...

That you are going to wake up with extreme headaches that you can't do anything for because you aren't able to take decongestant or ibuprofen...no one told me that my entire upper body would be covered in little acne bumps - and I can't use normal acne body wash because salycylic acid is bad for baby bean. No one told me my gums would bleed and my teeth would ache. No one told me that everytime I go to throw up from a bad smell, I will also pee my pants a little....ok, a LOT.




They did tell me that I would feel the baby - and at first it would be weird. But until it happens to you, you can't begin to understand. No one told me that I would be so incredibly head over heels in love with this little bean RIGHT this very moment when I haven't even met him or her (besides a random blur of an ultrasound photo & a blip of a heartbeat).



The "negative' side effects of being pregnant are annoyances. Yes, I like to whine at times about them, but in the big picture, they are absolutely NOTHING. I am alive & married to a man who rubs my back for 30 minutes to an hour EVERY night before bed because it's the only relief I can get in my sciatic and for the head pain. I whine for ice water - it's there. I lay in bed for hours on the weekend playing farkle or reading a book and he asks what he can bring me to eat. (When he's around, he's mostly great). Of course, I'm not always so great to him in return...like this morning. Super b*tchy for no reason really and just snapping at him at every turn, to which he says, "I'm sorry you are so miserable today but I still love you" - and scoots me out the door.



I am going to be a mother! Yes, I have known that for 10 weeks already (14 weeks and 2 days TODAY!) but it is FINALLY starting to sink in and feel real.



I think the dog and cats know - they fight for a spot on my belly. Brewer lays his ear on my tummy and puts one paw up there and it looks like he is just listening to something. It's adorable. (Well, I think almost everything my 8 month old puppy does is adorable, not going to lie!)



Ahhh -in other news, started and finished Divergent by Veronica Roth this weekend. It was very good. If you like reading books that are set in dystopian settings - you will enjoy Divergent. My coworker has my copy of Insurgent (book 2 in the series) so I have picked up Lake News by Barbara Delinksy in the meantime.



I'm also slowly getting back my ability to eat the foods I always had before. :) No more steady diet of apples and tomatoes for me - however they are still about 50% of what I eat.



Our houseguest starts his new job today - yay for that! Hopefully he will have enough money saved up by October 1st to have his own place.



Ran to McDonalds for lunch and grabbed a cheeseburger and a large Hi-C. Wish I wouldn't have left the building. YUCK - for some reason this summer feels like a million degrees hotter than last summer. I wonder how long the heat wave will last. I am seriously considering going swimming tonite after work.

Reclaiming Rebecca

342 days ago I went from dreaming of being a mother to holding my beautiful little girl in my arms. I was a mother the moment she was conceived but reality doesn't hit until you are sitting there staring down in to the face and eyes of a being that loves you and needs you for their very survival.

After Eliana was born, she was rushed to the NICU so my birthing experience wasn't what I had always hoped and planned for it to be. I quickly learned that is how motherhood rolls!

The last 342 days have been exhausting, educational, disgusting (no showers for days, vomit everywhere), overwhelming, and absolutely fantastic. I wouldn't change them for the world. I have loved almost every moment of motherhood and I have learned to laugh at the parts that you can't enjoy. I never saw myself being a stay at home mother and now I would not have it any other way. I enjoy spending every day with my child. I love the smiles when I pick her up in the morning, the snuggles I get when she is sick or tired, the giggles...I even love the poopy diapers and the teething because that just means she is real and she is MINE!

Never in my life have I had something in my life that holds as much value in my life as my beautiful little girl. Motherhood has changed me, and I embrace that. She has opened my eyes to so many things that I would have never thought to notice in the past, she has made me a better person.

The only drawback is that I became so consumed in my child's well being that I often times forgot about my own. For the year 2014, I want to reclaim that. To be the best parent I can be for my child, I need to be the best me I can be. This means allowing myself to sleep more, allowing myself to establish and nurture adult relationships, allowing myself to become self confident again and allowing myself to work towards being healthier physically, emotionally and spiritually.

The first step in that plan for me is reconnecting with the written word and having a place to express my emotions. I look forward to this 365 day journey and the moments that I will discover alone, the ones I will uncover with my loving husband, and all the adventures I will fall in to with Eliana.

Welcome 2014....I look forward to taking this journey.

12 Week & 2 Day Check-up

This weekend was awful. I should have known something was wrong when all I wanted to do was sleep. It then moved in to chills, shakes, body aches, headache, sweating fits, diarrhea & moved in to puking which turned in to heaving as all I had left in my stomach was bile.




At one point, I was sitting on the toilet and vomiting in to the garbage can in front of me - shaking and soaked from head to toe. (pretty picture isn't it?) and I felt something gush. When I wiped - I saw it was blood so I really started to panic. I ended up calling the doctor at 3:30 am - and she told me to wait until 8:30 and then call the clinic to come in.



I had an appointment set for yesterday anyways - so I just called in and had it moved from 4:30 to 10 am. I will admit, I was totally terrified.



The nurse checked me out - the bleeding had stopped and my cervix was still closed. :) She then tried to locate a heartbeat but was unable too, so they took me in to have an ultrasound. Baby is totally healthy and normal & growing strong. It was quite the relief. I have some u/s pics now of the little bean!



Beginning Weight: 217 lbs.



12 Week Check-in: 209.6 lbs



Blood Pressure: 128/70



Heart BPM: 171 bpm



Length: 2 1/4 inches



Craving of the week: Tomatoes & Ice Water



Book I'm reading: The Secret Diary of Anne Boleyn by Robin Maxwell



Current TV obession: Hoarders, Gossip Girl & The Hutterites



The doctor gave me a shot for naseau - let me tell you - did that ever burn!!! It also knocked me on my hiney - so I slept most of the day. I did end up having to go back at 4:30 in the afternoon as I am RH negative.



Being RH Negative and having the babies blood mix with mine had created a havoc in my body. My body basically is/was trying to fight the baby off as if it were an illness or a disease. So...more shots! Doctor gave me a shot of RhoGAM. I have to carry a card around in my purse now at all times stating that I have had this shot.



Also have a prescription for Promethzine (anti-naseau) - it totally knocks me out, so I am not taking it this week while I am at work. From yesterdays dose, I am still disoriented and drowsy.



Oh - and! Eric & I saw the baby jumping around, touching his/her fingers to it's toes. We were sooooo happy to see that. Definitely a mover in there.